FAMILY STORIES ON DISABILITY & INTERSECTIONALITY
#1. Disability & Intersectionality Memory of Grandpa Sherm
I was 6 years old when my Grandpa Sherm retired and he and my Grandma moved to Connecticut to be closer to us. I remember feeling shy around my Grandparents when they first moved and one day I asked my Mom if I could ask Grandpa about his Dad (Albert Nilsson) and his favorite brother Joe who had both died when my Grandfather was a child. I was worried that it would upset my Grandfather and my Mom told me that it wouldn’t make him sad and that in fact, he loved to talk about Pa and Joe. My brother was playing tee-ball one evening and my Grandpa and I were sitting on a picnic table watching his game and I asked him if he could tell me a story about his Pa or his brother Joe. I will never forget the smile that broke across his face. He told me that it made him happy that I wanted to hear stories about them. My Grandfather’s deep love left a strong impression on me, and it gave Joe and my Great-Grandfather Al great importance in my mind.
When my Grandpa would tell stories about Joe, they were often about the way he made my Grandfather feel special, or the fun things that Joe and his friends would bring him to do on weekends. The fact that Joe was openly gay in Minnesota in the 1940s was never the most important thing about him, but it was always a part of his story. Joe’s sexuality became more significant to me as I got older and grappled with my own queer identity. Especially in 2020, when I almost died from Covid, Joe’s disabled identity became even more important to me. It was that summer when I realized that I was nearly the same age Joe was when he died from complications of a bicycle accident on July 22, 1994. I always appreciated knowing about Uncle Joe, so many of my friends tell me that they’re envious of me for knowing about a queer Ancestor in my family. I always tell them that Uncle Joe doesn’t just belong to me, that any of my queer friends can claim Joe as their own Ancestor. Queer kinship is not just about blood; it is about chosen family.
#2 Disability & Intersectionality Diaries of Lillian Langhorst Jones
Jones, Lillian Langhorst. The Lifelong Diaries of Lillian Langhorst Jones. Infinity, 2005.
In the Lifelong Diaries of Lillian Langhorst Jones, I noticed several instances where family member’s disabilities or chronic illnesses were discussed. Aunt Megan makes a note during the diaries that her Aunt Ruth was born partially deaf, and that later in life Lillian also became mostly deaf. Aunt Megan says that because of their hearing issues, it made it harder to Ruth to communicate with her mom, Lillian. In her diaries, Lillian also writes about her migraines and notes the days that she had to surrender to the migraines and rest in bed in the dark and quiet. I inherited my migraines from Lillian and as much as I hate having them, I relish at least knowing that my suffering is shared and connects me to my Ancestors.